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Conflict comes in, as they say, many shapes and sizes. People who help others work through conflicts represent a wide array of fields and professions. Some are mediators, others see themselves as facilitators. Human resource professionals are often called upon to help co-workers resolve work relationships. Risk managers and hospital quality overseers have to help their physicians and families manage tense conversations that can become explosive. While some writings in the Anti-Antagonist appeal to very specific conflict resolvers, I also try in writing this column, to be mindful of concepts that might be helpful to a wider range of professionals who are immersed in helping others manage the various conflicts that drain personal time, erode personal relationships, and cost organizations money.

One particular concept that I think has value across conflict resolving professions is a process called the Cycle of Experience (the Cycle). The Cycle has its origin in the field of Gestalt psychology. It has been institutionalized by the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland through expansion of its application to groups and organizations. It has been refined by the Gestalt International Study Center in Wellfleet, Massachusetts, and is used by practitioners, internationally, as a foundation for better understanding human perception, behavior and movement. While there are 5-7 components to the Cycle (depending on one’s model preference), for now, I will highlight what I refer to as the first four elements of the Cycle. I frequently see the differences people have in moving through these components as an underlying force that fuels misunderstanding and conflict.

The initial components of the Cycle simply identify that certain processes come before an individual takes an action:

 

-- The Cycle teaches that every human action truly begins with a human Sensation. We don’t merely leave the house and go for an ice cream cone. First, we have a craving, a sensation of what it would be like to have our favorite flavor. Sensation is the first step in the Cycle.

-- Once the Sensation occurs (sometimes clearly noticed and other times actually under the surface), we naturally move to a component of Awareness. If we look at our simple ice cream example, we begin to think about where to go, the time of day, what we’ve eaten, the number of calories and a range of other pieces of information that work their way into our awareness.

-- At some point as awareness grows, the third component of the Cycle – the mobilization of Energy is created. As that energy builds we are, at some point, compelled to Act. Again, in our example, we might head for the car, or, perhaps we decide to go to the refrigerator for the apple.

While the ice cream example is somewhat simple, it basically highlights that in our normal, uninterrupted form of human movement, we naturally begin with Sensation, go to Awareness, experience the building of our Energy, and we Act. What does this Cycle have to do with misunderstanding and conflict, and how can we use it to help us as conflict resolvers? The habitual difference in the way an individual moves through this Cycle from Sensation, to Awareness, to the building of Energy and then to Action, represents a difference that can frequently underlie a presenting conflict.

Here’s an example. Tim and Jack work together in a medium size public relations firm. Tim was the brain behind the company, he’s done an incredible job of building the company and his name has become a recognized brand. Tim built the business, initially, by talking to a lot of clients, taking any business that would come in the door and, if needed, by offering discounted services. This worked well for Tim, in part, because he’s a fast moving guy. Ideas appear quickly for him. He’s somewhat extroverted, high energy and has a tough time saying no. On the Cycle, he moves almost simultaneously from Sensation to Action. He has little tolerance for the Awareness phase and spends almost no time in it. A former client, World’s Best Vitamins, calls with a project, Tim has an immediate picture of a marketing campaign that would work and as soon as the call is over he arranges for an account executive and a lead designer and tells them to start to work on expanding his idea.

Jack, meanwhile, has been with Tim for a number of years. Jack is responsible for business development and part of his role is to assure customer satisfaction. He takes the lead in preparing proposals for clients and helps them plan an implementation strategy to market their product. Let’s consider what happens if Jack gets the call from World’s Best Vitamins. When Jack gets an idea he lingers for a time in Sensation, then pays attention to a lot of detail. He gives much thought to the type of proposal to put together. He looks at the existing work and immediate deadlines that are coming up. Jack reviews old payment records to see a particular client’s payment history, and thinks about the firm’s past relationship with the client. He also looks at other client prospects and gives consideration to the firm’s internal capacity to take on more business. As he sees the whole picture his energy slowly builds and he is ready to articulate a plan for moving forward, or a plan to sadly inform the client, the project isn’t one they can take on. Jack is very comfortable in the Awareness phase of the cycle and believes gathering critical information is strongly connected to good decision-making.

If Tim and Jack don’t have some help in understanding the impact of their personal capacities to move through the cycle, they get into real trouble. Jack learns Tim has already approved the project and when he gives him all the data that might lead to a different outcome, it’s too late. Tim gets frustrated, thinking Jack has no ability to just move on a great lead when it comes up. Everything takes too much time. And, from Tim’s perspective they can always just hire more people to do the work. Jack, on the other hand, sees the staff constantly burdened by Tim’s impulsive decision-making, and has clear data that indicates Tim spends time on clients who end up requiring much more work than projected and the company takes a loss. Often these are clients who have been problems for the firm. Jack and Tim end up in explosive discussions at office meetings and everyone starts to talk about the personality conflicts between Jack and Tim.

When a mediator, facilitator or consultant understands the natural movement within the Cycle, that knowledge can go a long way toward helping Jack and Tim get on a different path. There are times when a business needs to make quick decisions. Too much analysis can take too much time, and time can mean the loss of a major project. In many other instances, though, a solid analysis is a critical best practice in decision-making. It supports the business to make solid, financial determinations and to create work in a way that supports the building of excellent client relationships -- something that truly leads to more business. In this example of Tim and Jack, the conflict resolver has an opportunity to help each understand his natural and habitual movement on the Cycle. Work can be done with Tim to raise his awareness about the impact of his impulsive decision-making. Tim can learn to both build on his ability to take quick action as one of his strengths, yet also shift away quick action as his only response so it isn’t a detriment to good business. At the same time, Jack can get help in understanding the need and value that quick decision-making has and the limitation that can arise if he gets stuck in detail overkill. Jack can begin to learn what it takes for him to get energized to action and can learn to build on his ability to find and then share detail as a real strength.

Working through a process of mutual, facilitated engagement, Tim and Jack can formulate a process that lets them better understand each other and one that will accommodate each of their natural inclinations within the Cycle. Together, they can combine their strengths to move the business forward in a creative and solid way. While, I’ve focused my example on the Tim-Jack scenario, I suggest that as a conflict resolver you’ll find value in becoming familiar with and working with the Cycle in many aspects of your work.

When working as a coach, it’s critical for us to help our client understand his or her habitual movement on this Cycle. Particularly when one seeks our support due to ongoing work conflicts, helping our client to both understand his or her general movement and see the movement of the other, becomes an important seed for shifting behavior that supports our client to be more effective and empowers our client to influence others and the environment.

It’s clear to anyone with real mediation experience that the process of mediation is, in part, about timing. In mediation it’s essential for us to create time and space that works for all disputants to obtain essential information and to consider a range of options. If that doesn’t happen then the opportunity for people to reach voluntary agreements is substantially inhibited. When people have time cycles that constantly clash and they don’t understand them or get support to work with those cycles, then again, interactions feel and become quite personal and the hallmark of mediation – empowerment to make decisions and voluntarily making those decisions – is lost.

And, for those of us who are active conflict interveners, it’s important to practice self-reflection and better understand our own natural movement on this Cycle. If I’m someone who moves quickly I must cultivate the ability to sit with more patience. If I’m someone who can’t seem to help people get to decisions points, then I need to better understand what it is I do, myself, within the Cycle to somehow keep clients from getting to action.

I find that when I talk with clients about this cycle it makes immediate sense and is something that mirrors their experience. When that happens the work can really begin, and with our support, people end up with heightened awareness from which they shift and change.

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The Anti-Antagonist is a personal opinion column by Ann L. Begler, founder and principal of the Begler Group, a Pittsburgh firm providing services in mediation, advanced facilitation, conflict coaching and organizational development. You can e-mail Ann via This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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