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To coincide with the 54th Annual GRAMMY Awards, I have prepared a first annual Legal/Musical Fictitious Awards Op-ed. I would argue that these additional categories are so related to the Recording Academy’s categories that they could be included in Sunday’s awards presentations.

And so, my 2012 LMFAOs go to:

 

CATEGORY: Best Political Violation of Music Intellectual Property Rights

WINNER: Newton Leroy Gingrich

Back on New Year’s Day, I safely predicted that “I’ll be writing this year about at least one Republican candidate for a high-profile office who uses a musician’s intellectual property as that politician’s campaign song without permission.”  Well, there’s no time like the present, even if we’re only six weeks into 2012.

The winner in this category, the author of more than 40 copyrighted works who is seeking the Republican Party nomination for President of the United States, was caught with his proverbial hands in the proverbial cookie jar twice so far this year. First, Mr. Gingrich was served a cease-and-desist notice regarding his unauthorized use on the Florida campaign trail of “How Do You Like Me Now?” (a 2009 song performed by British rock band The Heavy) Second, Newt was sued for copyright infringement on January 30 in Illinois federal court for his unauthorized use at his political rallies of “Eye of the Tiger” (a 1982 song performed by American rock band Survivor).

It is true that one of Newt’s opponents, Willard Mitt Romney, was threatened with a lawsuit by Canadian rapper K’Naan for Mitt’s unauthorized use of the 2009 song “Wavin’ Flag” during a Florida primary victory speech.  But Newt wins the LMFAO not only because he had one more transgression than Mitt did but also because one of the songs that he stole won a GRAMMY (“Eye of the Tiger,” for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal).

If Mr. Gingrich is looking for legal trouble from musicians (a) with progressive politics and (b) who wrote a song related to one of his campaign promises, I have a request: “Man on the Moon,” by R.E.M.

CATEGORY: Best Musical Attempt to Influence Supreme Court Deliberations

WINNER: Mathangi Arulpragasam

Back on January 10, the United States Supreme Court heard oral argument in the case of Federal Communications Commission v. Fox Television Stations.  The legal issue before the Court was whether the FCC could continue to penalize television broadcasters such as Fox for airing “fleeting expletives” and brief flashes of nudity without violating the First Amendment. The case is now under deliberation by the Court.

The winner in this category, known by her stage name M.I.A., is a 36-year-old British rapper/singer who received two GRAMMY nominations in 2009. On February 5, she took it upon herself to include in a song-and-dance routine with Madonna one verbal profanity and one middle finger. The routine, of course, occurred during NBC’s broadcast of Super Bowl XLVI (the TV network did not catch the indecencies on their tape-delay system). I think it’s safe to say that this was not the inspirational “halftime in America” that Clint Eastwood had in mind …

M.I.A.’s highly publicized antics in Indianapolis – which Madonna described later as “such a teenager … irrelevant thing to do” – were likely to have caught the attention of the Supreme Court justices back in Washington D.C. And given their recent comments on the TV decency issue, some of those justices are likely to have hardened their positions after hearing and seeing “Give Me All Your Luvin.”

During the January 10 FCC v. Fox oral argument, Justice Antonin Scalia stated that government regulation of cursing and nudity on broadcast television “has a symbolic value.” And Chief Justice John Roberts stated: “What the government is asking for is a few channels where you can say they are not going to hear the S-word, the F-word…“

Since the Super Bowl, M.I.A. has taken the same approach taken by Justice Clarence Thomas at nearly all Supreme Court oral arguments: she has said nothing.

CATEGORY: Best Judicial Failure in an Oral Argument Pop Culture Reference

WINNER: The Honorable Samuel Anthony Alito, Jr.

At the FCC v. Fox oral argument, Justice Samuel Alito suggested that the court should not rush to resolve a question concerning a technology on its way to the dustbin of history. “Broadcast TV is living on borrowed time,” he said. “It is not going to be long before it goes the way of vinyl records and eight-track tapes.”

While Justice Alito cannot be criticized for analogizing the future of broadcast television to the past of eight-track tapes, he is the winner in this category because of his “vinyl records” comment.

If one of Justice Alito’s law clerk had done some quick online research on the topic before oral argument, she or he would have hopefully passed on to the good justice the fact that vinyl record sales in the United States were up more than 36% in 2011.

I learned that the LP was the fastest-growing segment of the troubled music industry from an article I read last fall on Gotta Groove Records.  This successful vinyl press business is located in Cleveland and is owned by Vince Slusarz, a 55-year-old former attorney.

Love of music, law degree, 55-year-old from Cleveland … As David Letterman is fond of saying, it’s like I have a twin.

(Top image: Sergey Volkov/Getty Images)

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The Panic Street Lawyer is a personal opinion column by attorney Jay Hornack. Contact him right here at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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